Laman Nadia

Reminder: Everything you read here is solely based on my understanding and experiences as my knowledge in Islam is very, very limited. Sorry for any grammatical error.

I received a marriage proposal from someone who (I assumed) has waited for me for several years. If I were 22, I would have said yes to the proposal. But no, I am not crazy like how I used to be. I re-called our conversation few years ago when we talked about marriage. After the “talk”, I have doubt on his intention of marrying me. So, I decided to just be friends. Not even close to become my best friend.

Seeing the opportunity of my current condition, recently he made the proposal again. I want to accept the proposal so I have a talk with myself. My utmost important aspect is RESPECT. Can I respect this guy as my husband? TOTALLY NOT! Haha~ The answer came off right away like, snap! I can answer this confidently. How can I be a devoted wife if I couldn’t respect him all the way, right? My Jannah depend on my husband and I definitely don’t want to jeopardise my place in Heaven. So, no! He’s not for me. But… once in awhile I started to think… what if he’s my ‘jodoh‘ that has been written next to my name before I was born. Not sure.

So I made Istikharah.

See, istikharah is very synonym when you want to make decision before getting married. It’s advisable. But, istikharah is not limited for this purpose only. It is for every decision that you want to make. For every big plan you have in mind.

Istikharah is a way for us to seek counsel from Allah. You may have something that you want to achieve/do, and then you made efforts, and later on you started to feel whether you are doing the right thing especially when you face hardships and you don’t know whether to continue this and after thinking and consulting with people, you make decision and leave to Allah (tawakkal). Wait! It’s best to seek counsel from Allah first. So do Istikharah. And then feel confident to make decision and tawakkal. If it’s good for you, everything will be smooth along the way and if it’s not, you will feel difficult to continue your intention.

I made Istikharah when I planned to travel alone to South Korea. Alhamdulillah, everything went well. I got lost few times there but I got help easily. It was not easy to travel alone especially if this was your first time. And this time, I made this prayer too. (Actually I made this prayer few times in my life but I forgot the purpose. Forgive my forgetfulness.) So back to my earlier story (the proposal) I still feeling not good about this man. Hence I decided to reject the proposal.

A question: What if you feel confused after the prayer? According to Shaykh Abdul Nasir Jangda, do the prayer again. Confused? Do it again. Until the doubt feeling removed from your heart. Until you feel confident about your decision.

Spoon-feed time. I found a video from a blogger that I follow. Let me share it with you. Take this chance to listen what Istikharah is all about. Find the video here: In Pursuit of Marriage – Aiman Azlan (2013) Oh and I suggest you who loves to read to take time reading his articles because this man is so thoughtful and I can tell his articles were carefully written (read: typed) and reviewed before he published it.

Gotta go now. I have few plans outlined for next year. I have made my research and counsel certain people and I have come to a decision. I just need to confirm with Allah as He is All-Knowing before I proceed with the plan.

Suddenly life has become meaningful again~