Laman Nadia

I have shared this in my Instagram but I want to elaborate on what someone taught me about Husnudzon. For self-reminder today, tomorrow and in future.

Husnudzon briefly is about having good/positive thought on people. I am confident that I am positive and think good about people until she pointed out that I am not – in certain circumstances. For the first time, I argued with her. Never in my life I would ever think of doing that. I strongly believe people have bad intention towards me and wanted to see me fail miserably.

It took me a week or two to realized what she said is true. So, in our last conversation, I asked her, to what extend we should think good about people? And she said until that person become enemy in Islam. But among Muslims there is no enemy, we are all brothers and sisters.

Long pause.

Forgive people and ask for forgiveness will cleanse our heart and refrain us from animosity. It is hard, yes, but we all want to live in contentment. After all, this life is temporary. If you choose not to live happily (and blessed), what a waste…

I concur.

*****

Last weekend, I was out of control due to overthinking. I got angry with someone, felt mistreated and under-appreciated. On top of that my past life suddenly lingered in my mind and  I had two bad dreams. One of the dream was a short-haired girl chose a red dress over white dress before commit suicide. Or is it me who chose the red dress? I am not sure because all this while I always prefer white over red. I hope it’s just a bad dream.

I asked someone whom I trust to have pity in me. Because I am afraid of losing someone/something which end up I am being left alone. It happened once (few years ago) and I pray hard it will not happen again. And today, guess what… I AM alone.

So, I put on facade in front of my family and colleagues. Act like I am A-OK and such. But don’t worry, I will not dwell in self-pity for a long time. I am going to have one-on-one session with Allah on prayer mat. That’s the wise thing to do.

Now, talking about self-pity… maybe in my next post.