Did i just make a wrong decision? Is it wrong for me to be loyal? Is it wrong if i put people first than myself? Is it wrong to stay firm with my decision eventhough my golden chances came to me through and through? I want it so badly but i can’t be selfish. I have made a commitment.
I was mad for some silly joke today. Jokes meant to be laughed and i should be cool about it. But when i let go my once in a lifetime opportunity because of people i cared and they play prank on me… you can guess my feeling. I felt numb. I don’t know whether i should laugh or cry.
It is ok if people not appreciate my kind intention. If i lose this chance i know i will be regret for the rest of my life. I keep telling myself that all will be well. Just think of this is a nightmare. As long as long Allah know my intention, Allah will grant something better next time.
But if i get accepted i will not think twice and just give it a go. No turning back. No feeling guilty. Will it be a sweet dream or a nightmare? I have to wait for their final decision. Waiting and keep praying. Be positive. But….
…. frankly speaking, I am mad and afraid of losing it. So all i wanna do now is… 😥
Laman Nadia 
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